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Post by ALEXIA STARR DAVIES on Oct 30, 2011 16:02:58 GMT -5
 She was out-of-bed. Alexia was never a trouble-maker, but she didn’t set much in store for the rules. But this was important. A light tapping on the girls’ dorm window woke her up. She slid the glass open and an owl soared inside, dropping an envelope on her bed with a muffled thud before flying back out. Curiously, she crossed to her bed and picked up the letter. It was from her mother, but why would she write to her this late? It was something about her father writing to her, wanting to know where she was. Her mother said that she was worried that he’d try to contact Lex, write to her or something. And she was also supposed to answer back immediately for her mom to know how she was doing.
Quietly, she took out a quill and parchment and wrote a quick note, assuring her mother that she was okay, she was fine and that she hasn’t heard anything from Alexander, her father, and was not hoping to anytime soon. She was just tying the parchment sealed when she realized that there was no owl to take her letter. She couldn’t leave it for tomorrow, her mother would probably send a Howler during breakfast because she didn’t answer.
With this thought, she pulled on a robe over her pajamas and made her way to the Owlery, carefully avoiding prefects who were stuck with patrol duty. It’s a little cold out, she realized as the light breeze came in through the glass-less windows of the stone room. She tied the letter to the nearest school owl, and watched it as long as she could see it. With a sigh, she turned on her heel and decided to get back to bed, under the warm covers of her four-poster. As she took a step forward, a brown owl suddenly swooped overhead and dropped another envelope on her shoulder. She caught it just before it hit the dropping-covered floor.
Alexander Davies. He was where the letter came from. She had half a thought to chuck it out the window and get back to bed. But something was nagging her. She’d read it in the morning, then. She’d prefer sleep to whatever her father – no, Alexander – had to say.
But no, she had to read it. She couldn’t wait until tomorrow; she had to know what Alexander said. Lex was already a couple of steps away from the exit, standing on the only place in the Owlery completely clear of owl droppings. Her impatience, curiosity, anger and everything else getting the better of her. As she tore the envelope with trembling fingers, she leaned against the wall beside the doorway. Inside she found the familiar writing of the man she once loved, the man who once protected her, guided her… But that was before, she reminded herself. After taking a few deep breaths, she lowered her eyes to the parchment in her hands, trying not to burst into tears at the first word alone.
Her fingernails were digging into her palm, the letter no longer in its neatly folded form. Her knees gave way beneath her as she slowly slid down the wall, landing on the floor. A single tear fell from her eye as she curled up, hugging her knees to her chest. She wasn’t crying because of sadness or pain. She was crying because of anger. Of hatred. How dare he make it seem like the thing that drove him and her mother apart was something so simple that it would be fixed in a single conversation?
He never liked to beat around the bush; he was always so straightforward. This was where Alexia got her bluntness, her honesty so tactless that it earned her so many enemies. Her father was to be blamed for everything. It was her father’s actions that had Lex believing that no guy could ever be trusted; they were all the same. She never liked to keep a serious relationship because she was scared that the guy would do the same thing her father did to her mother. Oh yes, it was only fear.
But no one knew that. She was popular to the guys as the girl you would be lucky to land a date with. Yet, no one talked about how she went on completely ignoring them after going out a few times. The girls? They were an unhappy bunch. She wouldn’t be surprised to know that most of them, if not all, hated her. And Lex was okay with that, it was better to distance herself from them. It was better that they didn’t know who the real Alexia Davies was. Only Lily would know, her best friend.
Aware that she was full out crying by now, tear tracks running from her eyes down her cheeks, she tried to wipe away the tears. No one would probably see her; it was already half past twelve. She was already considered to be breaking curfew, but if she got caught, it would only be by a prefect. She could easily get past him or her. Finally tired of holding it in, she burst into silent sobs, head buried in her knees and her arms around her.
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Oct 30, 2011 16:15:01 GMT -5
WELL YOU MIGHT BE A BIT CONFUSED
Being a prefect of Hogwarts could mean many things. To some it meant power, power over younger students or those of a house which their own had a rivalry going on with. Others used it to serve the Professors, hoping to score better grades than they actually deserved. Some were quite eager to help anybody and anyone; those were usually fifth years, trying to live up to their new responsibility. But to all, it meant having to stay up late once in a while and patrol corridors, check the younger kid’s dorms and ‘guide’ protégés back to their dorms if they found one breaking the curfews. Bad luck for those students who were caught by a moody prefect.
Remus Lupin was usually not a moody kind, but there were certain nights when his muscles were sore, the eyes bloodshot, and the skin even paler than usual. Those were the nights when he would easily snap at younger and older students breaking curfew or rules; didn’t they know that all he wanted to do was going to bed? And that it was practically their fault that prefects had patrolling duties at all? It was not like his usual self, surely not; but he had a valid excuse. Not that he would tell anybody. But it eased his bad consciousness a little when ever he felt like he had been too strict against students, especially first years.
Tonight was not one of those nights. The sky was almost completely dark; up among heavy rain clouds hung a thin, curved moon, it’s feeble light barely enough to light the young wizard’s nose-tip. It brightened his mood as much as it darkened the corridors of Hogwarts castle; there were enchanted torches, of course – eternal fire – but their flames were dimmed for the night rest. The werewolf however did not mind the dark, as he felt acquainted to it; it did not scare him nor disorientate him. More than anything, he was lost in thoughts this lonely patrol night.
They were worried thoughts, most of the time. His mind wandered along the problems concerning this war which seemed to just slip from the Ministry’s grasp; then it skipped to his friends, to Sirius’ family issues, and to his younger brother Regulus. Yes, Remus was quite good at thinking over other people’s problems, at being sympathetic and think of a way to help them. His own problems alone seemed to be impossible to be solved by himself. Well, one certainly was; his friends had done everything to improve the situation as well as possible, already, and he was grateful to no extend. But it would never be solved to the extend of what you could call a full recovery. And now there were others, new ones. Moony knew that if he wanted to do well in health and school, he would have to stop thinking about his father’s situation, but it felt like giving up too easily.
These troubled thoughts caused his mind to take a different path from his body as it seemed; he no longer paid attention to where he was going. Being a Marauder, it was a given that he would never be lost, even if he did not really watch his steps; there was no need to be carefull.
A sound caught Remus off-guard, and he almost jumped. It was but a sniff, a constricted draw of breath... it could easily have been a ghost, but Moony’s rather sharp senses told him it was definitely a human sound. There was a stretching silence, then something seemed to slip down a wall. And more heavily drawn breaths, hoarse.. somebody was up in the Owlery, and something was quite wrong, too. Wearing a small frown, the Gryffindor prefect gripped his wand and soundlessly ascended the spiral stairs. The brisk air made his hair stand on end on the bare forearms; those owls who were resting were prancing and turning their proud heads away from the cold.
He saw the heap of clothes and a lot of wavy, brown hair at once. She was shaking pitifully; it was heartbreaking. Upon a second gaze, Remus realized who she was.
"Alexia?", he asked carefully, his voice not as badly hoarse as usual. Kneeling down in front of her, he was unsure of what to do; he knew Alexia Davies since more than six years, and they were on friendly terms, but he doubted that they would call each other friends. If it hadn't been for Lily, they probably would have talked even less, simply because they did not seem to have a lot in common. But there and then, she needed help; so much was obvious, even if her face was hidden. A letter dangled by her side, sprayed with some tears. Moony was searching his cloak pockets for chocolate subconsciously, for letters barely ever meant good news these days.
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Post by ALEXIA STARR DAVIES on Oct 30, 2011 16:28:29 GMT -5
 She didn’t hear the footsteps when he climbed up the stone steps; she didn’t know someone was coming. If she did, she would have acted like herself: the cold-hearted Gryffindor heartbreaker she pretended she was. But maybe it was the overflow of emotions that made her deaf to her surroundings, and she only saw the intruder when he/she was in front of her. She made one mistake before she came up to the Owlery, and she realized this only upon the presence of another: she left her wand on her bedside table. It was stupid to go anywhere unarmed these times, and it just made her feel even more vulnerable.
She lifted her head slightly when she heard muffled footsteps nearby to find someone standing in front of her. Lex thought that there was still a chance that the person wouldn’t recognize her, but as she tried to hide her face in her arms again, she heard a man’s voice call her name. Great, she thought, I don’t have time to deal with a guy right now.
Some people called her Alex. But they would only be able to for one time, since she showed them how much she hated that name with the help of her wand. But Alex was Alexander’s nickname; he was known by that name and she didn’t like hearing that name again. Alexia, however, she could tolerate. Those who weren’t close to her called her Alexia, and those that she could consider her friends called her Lex or Lexie. If you ever heard someone call her by her first name, they were probably merely acquaintances.
Starr evoked an even more negative reaction from her. Her reason on hating the name was because her parents couldn’t obviously think of a better name. But the truth was that only Alexander had called her that. His little Starr, was how he called her when she was a child. And ever since they ran away from him, she immediately hexed anyone who had the mistake of calling her that. It was unfair, she knew. They didn’t know what the name meant to her, so they thought it was harmless. She didn’t want to hurt them physically, oh no. But whenever she heard the name, the face of her father swam in front of her mind’s eye and all reasonable thought disappeared.
“I can’t believe you’re seeing me like this,” she managed to say while trying to rid her face of any proof that she’d been crying. But it was like trying to hold water in cupped hands; the more she tried to hide them, the more the tears just kept on coming. She didn’t even seem to care that someone other than Lily had finally seen her cry. All that she knew was this person was a guy, his voice was familiar but she couldn’t quite pair it up with a face. And by staying there and talking to him, she was showing him an open window to her soul.
The first and only time she had poured her all out to was Lily. They were in their room, Helen and Mary were thankfully not present, and she received a letter from her mother, saying that her father had enlisted the help of both magic and muggle authorities to track them down. It scared her; she broke down. Lily was a better listener than she expected, and after that night, they became good friends. Even better friends after the incident by the lake after their Defense O.W.L.s.
“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?” She chanced at glance up at him, he was kneeling in front of her. And with all her luck, it was a Marauder. Remus Lupin, to be exact. She knew him through Lily; he was the only one guy she didn’t mind being around with amongst the Marauders. She sighed and tried to laugh. “Put me in detention, take points from Gryffindor, whatever. Just don’t ever tell anyone about this, please?” Her eyes were pleading, hoping that he wouldn’t take this as anything over her. If anyone ever found out that she was this weak, all those girls who hated her for who they thought she was would jump with glee. They always wanted something against her.
Since he already knew who she was, there was no point in hiding her face anymore. She then sat cross-legged on the floor, breathing deeply. Lex leaned her head back against the stone wall, as if willing her tears to return to her eyes and trying to make her pulse return to normal. Soon enough, the tears were gone, but she still couldn’t meet his gaze. Her eyes were fixed on her hands, one still clutching the now crumpled letter that had caused all this.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said quietly. “I’m not as tough as I want people to think, huh?” Lex turned to look at him, trying to read the look in his eyes. Was he going to turn her in for breaking curfew? Or worse, tell everyone how he found Alexia Starr Davies crying her eyes out on the Owlery floor half-past midnight? “So, what brings you up here?” was her failed attempt at both a conversation and a change of topic.  |
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Oct 30, 2011 16:36:35 GMT -5
SO I WILL HELP YOU READ THOSE BOOKS
IF YOU WILL SOOTHE MY WORRIED LOOKS
With the way Alexia had been shedding her tears a moment before, her efforts at trying to keep them in and to stay strong was impressive. She had always seemed to Moony like a person who had a slightly cold side to herself, almost calculative. But at the same time he knew that she was probably a friendly person if you got to know her, since she was Lily’s best friend. All right, Lily had been best friends with Severus Snape before, but Remus had never had the feeling that Alexia didn’t have her heart in the right place – even if he could not say that he had spent more than some time in classes or in the common room with her. For all he knew, she was not exactly a fan of the Marauders. But right then and there, she could have wrote hate letters to the four of them for all he cared; he felt deep pity for her. As she stated that she did not want to be seen this way, he tried a small understanding smile; but he wasn’t even sure there was enough light in the library.
Maybe, the Marauder thought, Maybe I should not have come up here. She seems to be ashamed… but then again it could have been anything, and in times like these..
Before he could answer anything or try to make her feel better, Alexia seemed to try a smile and resumed talking. It was obvious that she did not care much for what he would do concerning her rule breaking, but Remus was as far from punishing a student as he could ever have been. He had indeed completely forgotten about his duties upon the sight of his classmate crying, and was only reminded when she suggested for him to punish her in one way or another.
"Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to tell anybody. I don’t see how this would be anybody else’s business. And forget the punishment." This girl seemed to be depending a lot on other’s opinions about herself, and that meant that there was even more reason to worry over why she would suffer a break-down like this. It felt hard for Remus to believe that it did not take a lot to cause a loss of control from her part. He gave her a warm smile, as far as that was possible with his pale, scarred features.
"I wasn’t thinking anything, I promise. The only thing I am thinking about is what might have happened to make such a strong person cry, and then whether there is anything I could do to make said person feel better."
His back slid down against the wall next to hers, so that the two of them were now sitting shoulder to shoulder at the Owlery’s wall. Deciding that there was no need for it after all, Remus stored his wand in the inside pocket of his cloak again; upon doing this, he found the chocolate he had been looking for. He retrieved the gold-and-blue wrapped Honey Duke’s finest from the pocket and held it out to Alexia with an encouraging nod.
"And what brought me here is you, of course. I heard you downstairs, and I thought somebody was in trouble."
AND WE WILL PUT THE LONESOME ON THE SHELF
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Post by ALEXIA STARR DAVIES on Oct 30, 2011 16:54:05 GMT -5
 Her sister Andrea always said that it wouldn’t hurt her to trust other people; not all of them were like their father. She might even find someone who could help her move on from it. She thought Andrea was wrong, it was more than two years and no one still knew about her secrets.
She shrugged when he said that it wasn’t really anybody’s business. “You’d be surprised how many people would like to hear about this,” she gestured to herself: her hair had definitely looked better, her eyes were a little red and her cheeks were tinted pink both from crying and embarrassment. “Thanks for not being like the other prefects,” she smiled. “If anyone other than you caught me here, I’m sure I would have cost Gryffindor more points that I’ve ever contributed.”
Lex looked up at him again, her eyes meeting his. Maybe this wasn’t exactly the best time, but he seemed likely to keep a secret. And they didn’t really talk to each other that much. This was already the longest conversation they ever had. Something in her mind was telling her that if ever she was going to tell someone about Alexander, it was Remus. She didn’t know why, but she wasn’t in the mood to question herself.
Her breath caught in her throat when their shoulders touched. She was not used to physical contact with others, especially guys. Yes, that was as far as she got to in cutting herself off from the rest of the world. Other people thought that her lips had kissed numerous guys before, but that was a lie. She flirted with guys, she went out with them, but she never hooked up with anyone. She didn’t let things go that far. And this? This was as close as she got to a guy who could possibly be considered a friend.
“I’m not really that strong,” she said softly, a single tear escaping her again. But she quickly wiped it away, hoping that he didn’t see. “You know what, you being here kinda makes me feel at least a little better.” It wasn’t a lie either. There was something about him that made her feel at ease with him. Like she didn’t need to worry about telling him the truth and him betraying her trust.
“Trouble?” she asked, looking around. “I guess the only trouble we’re in now is getting hit by owl droppings.” Lex looked up at the countless owls swooping in and out of the room, carrying the night’s hunt. She sighed, wondering how many of those owls had just come from delivering bad news to girls just like her. And how many of them were lucky enough to have someone to accompany them just as she was? She took the chocolate bar he was offering, carefully unwrapped the top and broke off a small portion before giving it back to him. “Thanks.”
She laughed a little, both at herself and the situation she was caught in. “It’s all in that,” she said, straightening out the note as much as she could before handing it to him. Hopefully, it was still readable with all her tears that undoubtedly smudged a few words. To just anyone, the letter wouldn’t really make much sense, but if Remus wanted to know more, she’d tell him. Lex just saw the letter as the best way to start her story.  |
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Oct 30, 2011 17:01:25 GMT -5
MAYBE I THINK YOU'RE CUTE AND FUNNY
A smile tugged at the edges of Remus’ lips when Alexia stated how she would have lost more points than ever gained. She was refreshingly self-ironic, he realised, a trait that hinted at a certain degree of intelligence not a lot of people contained. Nevertheless she still seemed down and a little low in self-esteem; here was some cheer-up work yet to be done.
"Well you know, if anybody would like to see you cry they must be a terrible person." But the Marauder knew that indeed a lot of girls would have been extremely happy to see somebody like Alexia Davies exactly in the state she was in now. Girls seemed to be a very jealous bunch in comparison to boys, and much more competitive even when it came to house rivalries; and Moony thought to know that Alexia did not get along with Helen Birch from their class very well, either. Being the kind of person who easily understood another’s motives, he could just imagine that some girls would be thrilled at the thought that Lexie was not confident and tough for once. One more reason to keep it a secret, for her.
"Well I’m glad I didn’t make things worse. If it helps, we can stay here some more.. and you can keep that, it’s yours," he added as Alexia tried to hand him back the Honeyduke’s. "I suggest you eat it though, you’ll see, it helps."
It took him by surprise when he was handed the letter Alexia had been crying about; she seemed to pass a piece of trust with this about which he was not sure whether he deserved it. However, he did not let her notice, and started to read silently after accepting the slightly smudged paper. His eyes darted across the paper, and after he had finished he read the letter again, making sure he did not miss anything. At first, Moony thought that it sounded as if Alexia’s father was missing her and maybe she missed him too, hence the crying. But at a second thought it seemed weird that her mother did not want him to find her, and that he had asked how to return things to normal. Maybe there was more behind this than the letter could possibly tell the reader.
Turning his head to look at Alexia directly again, Remus waited a moment before asking silently: "You don’t want him to find your mother, do you?"
He did not know whether the question was going too far, really; but then again she had offered him to read the letter, and it was extremely personal already. Maybe Lexie just needed somebody to talk to, somebody to lean on. If this was the case he would not mind being that person for her, even if it might mean that she would ignore him from next morning on upon realising that she was ashamed of confiding to him. Not that he especially expected her to, but it was common sense that girls sometimes though in different, deeper ways that boys and never really did what was to be expected. A part of him seemed to hope, however, that Alexia really did think he was trustworthy and would not silently regret this later.
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Post by ALEXIA STARR DAVIES on Oct 30, 2011 17:07:28 GMT -5
 “I’m not the best person out there, honestly,” she said quietly. “But I’m sure you already knew that.” She didn’t act unfriendly to others just to have the reputation. Her reason was perfectly acceptable, it was her ways that weren’t quite good. She didn’t want to become close to people, only to have them leave her when she needed them most. After all, who wanted to be friends with someone as messed-up as her? But she was glad that she became friends with Lily, she couldn’t imagine anyone else who’s be able to keep her in place.
“I guess I really need the company tonight,” she shrugged. She probably wouldn’t have the strength to return to the Gryffindor towers if he hadn’t come. Lex looked at him before taking a bite out of the smaller piece of chocolate in her hands. She doubted that it would make her feel better, but immediately took back her thoughts. A warm feeling seemed to spread through her. “Thanks, again,” she smiled at him, but this time, the sincerity showed.
Alexia didn’t expect this from him at all. To be honest, she was expecting a kind of cold treatment from him. You really couldn’t blame her; James and Sirius were notoriously well-known for their pranks, no one told her that the remaining Marauders weren’t all like them. Remus, for example, was… nice. It was the best Alexia could do to describe him at this state, but he was definitely more than just nice. He understood, that was more than enough for her. In fact, it would have made her feel a lot better already had he only pretended to sympathize with her. But it seemed that he was sincerely trying to help.
She shook her head once at his question. “That’s the last thing I’d want to happen,” she said, her eyes turning towards the window. She feared that if she looked at him directly in his eyes, she’d break down again and won’t be able to continue her story. It was rare that she had someone to talk to about this, and it unnerved her that he was actually willing to listen to her. “We – my mother, my sister Andrea, and I – left him on the summer before my third year. It was a good thing, really. I can’t imagine how my mother went through a whole year knowing that he had a whole bunch of other girls. When he started hurting her, that’s when my mother figured she’d had enough… we left.”
Lex wasn’t aware that she was relaxing a bit next to him; her shoulders were no longer tense. It felt great to finally be able to tell someone else, even though this was technically the first time they’d ever had a proper conversation. Although after tonight, she didn’t know how she’d face him in the common room. Could they be considered to be more than mere acquaintances now? Of course, that’d all depend on how this night would end for them. If it was okay with him, she’d talk to him. But he probably didn’t want to be involved with her, even just as friends, or less than that.  |
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Oct 30, 2011 17:12:33 GMT -5
OH LET'S GET RICH AND BUY OUR PARENTS
HOMES IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE
The young man’s eyes still lingered upon Alexia, in an analysing way that was his very own. Often could he tell what people’s feelings and intentions were, but to most he did not speak; either the Marauder did not know them well enough, or not even his presence was welcome, let alone he spoke. During years of shunning and discrimination that were his childhood, he had learned to keep to himself.
"You know, usually it’s those who think they do everything right who are really not the best of persons. You don’t seem like a person who doesn’t care about the consequences of their acting, and those who, as you say, would be happy to see you cry… are not worth the thought." The tear-stained letter was still moving quietly in the wind, held in place only by his hand. An owl hooted softly. "I know there.. are a lot of people who don’t understand. Who want to make you fall, and laugh.."
It was half a confession, but Remus prayed to unknown gods that Alexia would simply understand it as something anybody would say who would try to build her up. Then again, there he sat in his poorly patched robes; and as likely as not, even Alexia wouldn’t have failed to notice what happened when Slytherins passed the Gryffindor table and were in a particularly ‘happy’ mood. And it was not true that people's shunning towards his condition - even though most knew not the true nature of it, believing he was simply poor and sick - did not affect him anymore; but the advise was certainly still true. "You just have to ignore them. If you find one or two good friends, that’s worth a hundred others badmouthing you", he closed, his voice resigned. However Alexia had managed to make him talk so personally, it almost scared him at this point; it was as if this was a particularly poorly written novel, where all the characters spoke to each other as if they had always known what to say next. Remus knew quite some of that kind.But admittedly, Alexia Davies was nice. And she was sad, and wasn’t it the duty of a Prefect – most of all a Gryffindor, at that – to support their fellow student? Wouldn’t it be hypocritical to not care out of self-defence, leaving her to her agony? His helpers’ syndrome was as strong as ever with her, this much was evident, but there was still the question whether she would be ashamed in the morning. After all, it was unlikely that she would even think of him as somebody friendly.
Remus Lupin tended to do an unhealthy amount of thinking at some times.
It was Alexia’s voice which woke him from his contemplations. Listening intently, the small crease between his brow deepened with every work she spoke. If anything, he had not expected Alexia’s father to be violent and untrue; it had never even occurred to him that something was wrong with her family until a few minutes ago. Of course, they had never really spoken, but he still felt stupid for not noticing anything during their six years of practically living next to each other, sharing classrooms, tables and an ingle. "He hurt her?", he asked sharply, golden eyes burning with what was almost anger. Remus had never seen Alexia’s parents, or not consciously – after all they probably fetched her from the train every year – and thus the image which was on his mind when he thought of a mother was that of his own. It was absurd to even think that his father would have hurt her, fragile, small person she had been; and that somebody who was lucky enough to have all their family alive yet would deliberately hurt it seemed abnormal. Yet, Moony was aware that it was happening a lot, but when confronted with it directly it never ceased to be unbelievable.
As much as Alexia had started to relax, Moony was getting tense. This conversation had led to unforeseen debts, and it was the fact that he could not really help Alexia out of her misery that bothered him so much. The sympathy and helplessness ate at his insides, quite similar to that of a pre-full moon night. "So he really hurt your family, and now he is trying to come back, did I understand that right? But you think he has not changed?" It was the best to do, in his eyes, to find out more, carefully. Maybe there was one way or another to at least make Alexia feel less scared, or better about her self, for her self-esteem did not appear to be the most polished, either.
LET'S GET RICH AND GIVE EVERYBODY NICE SWEATERS
AND TEACH THEM HOW TO DANCE
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Post by ALEXIA STARR DAVIES on Oct 30, 2011 17:19:27 GMT -5
“They think they’re perfect, ” Lex laughed bitterly. “just because they’ve got a ton of friends. I’m ready to bet that not all of those friends are true and loyal.” Some probably only like them for their money, some because they’re popular. “I don’t like to be someone controlled by other people’s opinions. It’s better if they like me for who I really am, not for who they want me to be.” She didn’t know where her words were coming from, they just seemed to come out of her…
Lexie smiled to herself. “You look like you always know what to say,” she said quietly. “I might consider coming to you for advice from now on,” she laughed, only half-joking. She might not find the courage to talk to him after this, but she hoped that he wouldn’t pretend that this night never happened. It’s too much to ask, she knew that. But it would be nice if she gained a friend from an unexpected encounter.
She simply nodded, her head in her hands; she was afraid that if she opened her mouth now she wouldn’t be able to control what she would say next. Remus might find out a few other things that she didn’t want known. Not that it mattered; he already knew things about her that she swore she wouldn’t tell anyone unless absolutely necessary. And at this point, the promise to herself was long broken. She couldn’t take anything back, even if she wanted to. Yet oddly enough, it didn’t bother her that Remus knew her innermost secrets.
Remus sounded surprised when she said that her father inflicted physical pain, and Alexia thought she knew why. Maybe he had a whole and perfect family. A mother and a father. Lex assumed that he was an only child, since she didn’t know any other Lupins in the school. She felt a surge of envy for him. People who didn’t have a broken family wouldn’t think about the possibility of it. But, no matter how Lex wanted it to be otherwise, her family was incomplete. She wanted a father, of course, but not Alexander. Lex couldn’t even think of a way to describe him; no insult was enough to convey her hatred for him. And all guys are like him. Not Remus , said a small voice at the back of her mind.
She straightened up suddenly, pulling herself out of her thoughts with a mental shake of her head. What was she thinking? Maybe, she convinced herself, maybe it was just the flow of emotions inside her that made her think that. If it were any other day, she wouldn’t even will herself to think that some guy might prove her wrong.
“Yes, he hurt us,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “For my mom, it was more on the physical side. But, needless to say, my sister and I were emotionally scarred.” She remembered a day in that summer, she was so close to be on the receiving end of one of her father’s violent actions. Luckily, her mother was there to stop it. But she was still scared. “He wants to come back… But I don’t think I can let him do that.”
“He hasn’t changed a bit,” she said, trying not to sound unsure. “He has no reason to. He’s made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with us when he went and had a handful of girls while he was on what he liked to call ‘business trips’.” She gazed back at the sky, half-expecting another letter addressed to her arrive. If it was from her Alexander again, there were no guarantees that she’d stay silent; she’d probably lose it, forgetting that it was past midnight already.  |
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Oct 30, 2011 17:28:50 GMT -5
YOU AND I
Remus' eyes were fixed on Lexie while she spoke, listening intently. She seemed frustrated about a lot of things, including that it was unfair how some of the jerks of the world had more friends than the nice people. It was definitely an inconvenient truth. "Our only straw to grasp is that those are not really friends, but rather minions. People who just follow the strong and popular around." And I like you for who you are. The thought was almost like a ray of light in the owlery to him. Yes, Alexia Davies seemed to be worth a try to be gained as a friend. And it also seemed as if she could make good use of somebody who would not treat her like a superficial, stupid girl.
"I try my best", the prefect added, leaning his head against the cool stone wall of the owlery that held their backs upright. "I wouldn't call it advice, I usually just do well at guessing." It was not entirely true, but for a fact Remus sometimes scared himself with the insight he seemed to gain with how people acted and spoke. Maybe it was due to the fact that he had always assumed the role of the listener rather than the talker that he had learned to read people so well.
It was getting colder by the minute up where they were sitting, and although Remus felt the cold much more badly than most people, he thought that Alexia was probably getting colder, too. Like a reflex, he shook off his cloak and lay it around her shoulders, leaving him with his patched jeans and the school robe's white shirt and west. Lexie still looked like a sad mess, he analyzed, and felt even worse for her. The things she told him about her family seemed so unfair, so needless to be done.
She needs somebody to talk to once in a while. Somebody nice. Remus almost laughed at himself; Why on earth would he be that person? Why would somebody like Lexie, beautiful and talkative, want to spend her time with a bore such as him? A dangerous, monstrous bore. She would find out like the others did. And who knows how she would react.
But then again, she needed a friend. And what if he only exchanged friendly words with her? Surely that wouldn't do either any harm?
"I really regret that I cannot do anything about what happened in your past, Alexia. I hope that your father will leave you alone sooner or later." It sounded stupid after he had said it, but it was the truth. As sorry as he felt for her, there was nothing he could ahve done to change the initial situation that had led to them sitting in the owlery right now, all goose bumps, serious words, and in Lexie's case tears. An involuntary shudder ran down the werewolf's spine as his body told him that it was getting too cold to bear.
"Maybe we should go back to our tower, Alexia", Remus tried carefully, not wanting to upset her. It seemed like all was said, for tonight. "My shift is over since half an hour either way, and I would really regret it if you fell ill because we are spending the night in the cold." And a certain nurse will kill me if either of us does. "Come on up, I'm sure the world will look less awful by the time you wake up."
And Moony took Lexie's hand, pulled her up and - after letting go of her hand a little shamefully - led the way down the stairs, into the warmth of the castle.
Continued in "letters to the stars and the moon".
YOU AND I
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